Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
