$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
