I just threw up on my dentist
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
