i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
nutella sex= disaster
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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