I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
