So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
