yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just want to make out with him forever
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
