Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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