I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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