I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
