Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
