Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Randomize
