she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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