oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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