bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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