Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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