This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
