But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
