I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
