your room smells of hookers.
And success
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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