I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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