any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
