I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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