well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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