We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
