Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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