I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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