My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
