No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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