It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
