I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
