he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
