Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
organizing the empties. That sober.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
