I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
