ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize