He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't deserve a penis
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
