I didn't shave. On purpose
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
