just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
