Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize