have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize