wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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