clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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