mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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