theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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