escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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