Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sick fucks of a feather flock together
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
