: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
