ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
