I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
