i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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