My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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