Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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