i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
