Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
