Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
