at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
