My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
