Christians are straight up FREAKS
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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