I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
