Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
