My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
